George, Having just read this page I have wept. A measure of some release. I find many of my sentiments written on this page. Three years ago whilst making a career transition and attending university I met a woman. In the space of a year I found myself homeless, all savings gone, arrested (on the false accusations of the abuser), two hospital visits (where I was treated like shit) and any studies in tatters. Some of this I sincerely account for being gender distortion. Why me? Can you help.

The woman has been in AA now for a year. Almost without exception all that I went out to achieve is now in her possession, including friends, study colleges. My pathalogicalisation I feel was further aided by certain counsellors who further minimised the extent of the damage and in being critical of what was not "enabler" behavior or background but that of caring. Without exaggeration it is like "my life" was robbed, not shared as she naively thinks. I do not drink nor take drugs. Posion.

I thought the tears were "real". Boundaries were intact when I first entered this relationship. On entering Al-Anon I found similar predilects, not all but some were clearly suspicious and critical. The effect of this appears to be driving me further "underground". I drank whilst in the forces, often it has to be said with reluctance "to fit in". I have never been considered a soft touch either, rather fair and balanced in my judgment of events. This toxin inside I do not want to live with.

I recognize her condition of Narcissism, which the by nature of the beast is well hidden from her counsellors and other AA partners. My memory is coming back now in little snippets. But I simply have no idea who I am any more. It is very very frightening and I have become very ineffective in my interactions with the world. I am wary of becoming self pitying but I really am not sure that I exist anymore. Id travel, do almost anything to perhaps get adequate validation to help me on my way.